Getting My Groove Back

Emerging from a transition hangover

It has been a TIME. This is the general consensus. Moving, loss, health trials, the whole world under water, up in flames etc. You know, I know. I feel your <insert appropriately intense emotions here>.

This well worn Trashbag Astrology meme brilliantly describes the cut and color of my 2024 struggle bus. (Yes, I am a Taurus sun). In January–bright eyed and bushy tailed–I launched my life coaching business, optimistic the clients would flood in and I would soon be on my way to changing the world. In February my family member had a mental health crisis and we made the choice to move. In April I went to Alaska to help deliver my sister’s first child. In May I sold or packed up everything I own and drove with my wife, two cats, and one plant from Woodstock to Berkeley, where we moved in with my parents. I went from optimistic new business owner in my dream-town-upstate-NY, to unemployed living in my childhood bedroom. Woof. Meanwhile the world howls on.

I became a coach because I want to change the world for the better. I was born with intense empathy, an intricate curiosity about the human condition, and a head for words born to love deep talk. These things make me good at what I do. But to be functional in this capitalist world, we must either have the skills for business or the temperament for being told what to do. Option 2 is my perpetual downfall. SO-I am honing my business skills, sharpening my SEO give a f*cks and payment integration analytics. In the meantime, I feel like a table laden with food in an empty room. Who are my people and how will they find me?

I find myself beginning again. This feels boring, enraging, predictable, powerful, strange, dysphoric, lonely... And yet this is my work. I help my clients begin again every day–in relationships, with their bodies, through work challenges, at the brink of the unknown. Which is now, and now, and now.

My commitment to my coaching practice (Fitch Wilder Creative) and myself is that I will share honestly, with the belief that truthful connection is the meat of our most valuable currency. TLDR: This is my life. Tell me about yours.

I will also share that my business is still alive and growing. I am seeking clients either virtually internationally or in person in The Bay Area, CA. On this journey I’m learning a lot about what people feel and know about coaching. Life Coaching is a young industry with many critics and many fanatics. You’ve probably read some suss things about it in the NY times, and have one or two “woo woo friends” who rave about its benefits. In my experience–as a pragmatist, a scholar, and a longtime advocate for mental health care–life coaches are typically big-hearted people who want to heal, inspire, and help people in need. To be clear, coaches cannot diagnose or treat mental health disorders. But coaches can help you change your life. In my own words: Coaching is a healing modality, a collaborative process where coach and client gently, steadily, unearth new possibilities and establish new patterns to help clients change their lives. I call it the work and magic of transformation.

FUN UPDATES:

I bought a vintage pattern off Etsy and I’m scheming a stitch n’ bitch night, i.e. a low stakes high reward social craft night. If that’s something that would interest you and you live in the Bay Area, California please holler at me: fitchwilder@gmail.com

A dear friend/fellow mental health care worker recommended I watch the latest season of Love Island USA, and I can attest that it is a social psychological FEAST. I have been transported by the Operatic social dynamics and WILD drama. I fully endorse any kind of escapist behavior while enjoying this show. It is on Peacock.

Today I will swim in the lake where I had my first solo mushroom trip. I see the person I’ve become since that day (when my whole ego and face melted like butter on summer pavement). Even from the depths of my transition hangover, I still notice that I like this person I’ve become. So that is something.

then (13)

today (34)

Thank you so much for reading, if you’ve made it this far. I needed this, and I hope you did too.

With love and splendor,

Fitch Wilder